


Black-winged Butterfly

by grievingcain



Category: Gintama
Genre: Alternative Universe - They have wings, M/M, angel-like wings, but they aren't angels, everyone is born with wings in this AU, they're just people with wings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-24
Updated: 2018-08-24
Packaged: 2019-07-02 00:44:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15785478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grievingcain/pseuds/grievingcain
Summary: "Even after three years Takasugi could still feel his left wing attached to his body like a phantom limb every time he stretched his only remaining wing. Sometimes, when the nightmares felt too real, he could feel the pain of having it amputated. He could almost feel the blood flowing."





	Black-winged Butterfly

**Author's Note:**

> So, I came up with this AU when I was re-reading Angel Sanctuary and thought about BanTaka with wings, so the AU started to form in my head and this was the result. I wish I could have made it a little longer, but 3.700 words is good enough, isn't it? I hope it's enjoyable to read! I put more info about the universe in the notes in the end of the story if you're interested.
> 
> Ah, despite the title, Takasugi's wings are angel-like just like everyone elses, I chose "Butterfly" bc it's something that is used to represent him. Also, Takasugi has both his eyes in this story. Instead of losing his left eye, he lost his left wing.
> 
> Sorry for such a long note. Please, have fun!

Takasugi stretched his wing like he hadn’t in a long time. It spread black feathers around him, feathers that had already detached from his body to open way for new ones. Its appearance was messy, unkempt; because it hadn’t been groomed in a while, and the new feathers were pointing to all directions without care.

Even after three years Takasugi could still feel his left wing attached to his body like a phantom limb every time he stretched his only remaining wing. Sometimes, when the nightmares felt too real, he could feel the pain of having it amputated. He could almost feel the blood flowing. He had never felt any physical pain more intense than the one of having his left wing taken from him.

He poured himself a cup of _sake_ , trying to avoid the flashbacks from that day to come back, to no avail.

xxx

_He was kicked on the back of his knees which made him lose his balance and fall face on the ground. His nose hit the hard ground and for a second he wondered if it hadn’t broken because of the pain, but he soon realized this was the least of his worries when he felt another kick, this time on his shoulder blade._

_“Show your wings!” A voice behind him ordered._

_Takasugi turned his all-bloody face and scoffed._

_“Like hell I’m gonna let trash like you see them.”_

_Another kick on his shoulder blade._

_“If making your master and your colleagues seeing you being kicked until your wings show themselves is what you want then be it,” the voice said and continued kicking._

_Takasugi groaned, feeling the pain on his back, resisting the urge to spread his wings, but he had an idea of what was gonna happen once they were out so being kicked was still the best option._

_However, there was a limit to how much pain one’s bones could endure before their wings freed themselves._

_The big, black feathered wings spread open, tearing Takasugi’s clothes and leaving a few black feathers on the ground. Takasugi grunted, trying to pull them back inside his body, but failing. The man behind him smiled and stared down at him and his black wings gloriously open as if he was gonna rise up and fly at any moment. But that wasn’t possible for a human. In the end human wings were as useless as chicken’s._

_The man squatted down by Takasugi’s side and took a sharp knife from his belt._

_“You know what’s gonna happen now, don’t you?”_

_Takasugi gulped. No, no, no, not that._

_He wouldn’t beg because he knew that wouldn’t work, it would only serve to humiliate him even more. But inside his head he kept thinking the same words as he clenched his teeth and felt the shame rising up to his face, making his cheeks warm: “Please, please, please, don’t do that”._

_“Huh? Did you say something? The man mocked._

_Takasugi clenched his teeth even harder, it almost hurt._

_The man smirked._

_“You gotta learn your lesson, boy.”_

_The man stepped on the base of Takasugi’s right wing, forcing it to reach the ground, unable to rise. Then he brought the knife closer to the left one._

_“I’m gonna cut it from the bone, so there won’t be even a stump left.”_

_“Don’t, please!” Takasugi finally yelled. And he could barely hear Katsura’s voice calling his name in the distance, but his attention was completely on the feeling of the cold metal on the base of his wing._

_His pleas were in vain. The knife carved into his wing’s skin and went deeper, cutting the flesh, and then reaching the bone that connected it to his body. Takasugi yelled, the pain unlike anything he’d ever felt before as the knife made its way through his flesh and nerves. The only answer he got for his continuing begging and screams was laughing coming from the one doing the deed, and a couple others around them. Ones sadistic enough to not be able to empathize with someone having their wing slowly amputated from his body._

_It lasted what seemed like hours, although it was at most a couple minutes, and one of Takasugi’s beautiful black wings fell on the ground, completely unattached from his body. The blood flowed from the big wound on his back seeping through his torn clothes, and he was barely able to listen to the orders the men gave to Gintoki, who was standing in front of him with a sword on his teacher’s neck._

_The last thing he saw before falling unconscious due to the pain was his teacher’s head falling to join his wing on the ground._

xxx

Takasugi finished his first cup of sake and poured a second one trying to push the memories away, but before he had the time to drink, he heard his room’s door opening.

“Shinsuke, I finished the reports from— oh.”

The man stood at the doorway. Takasugi couldn’t see his eyes because they were covered by dark shades but he knew they were wide open like his mouth.

“I’m sorry, I should have knocked first,” he said, seemingly truly regretful.

Takasugi smirked.

“That’s not like you, Bansai.”

Bansai closed the door behind himself without taking his eyes off his commander. It was impossible to. He had never expected to open the door and see Takasugi so exposed as he was, with the right side of his kimono falling off his side and a big, dark wing dawning close to the ceiling. Bansai had never seen Takasugi’s wing before—although he knew he only had one, he had seen the scar—and he couldn’t conceive how beautiful it was, even with the feathers so dishevelled.

Takasugi got tired of being stared at and broke the silence that had installed between them.

“What did you come here for?”

“I…” he stopped to clear his throat. “I just wanted to say that I finished the report from last mission, I daresay.”

“That’s Takechi’s problem, not mine.” Takasugi replied dryly.

“Usually I would agree. However, this time the Naraku was directly involved, I daresay.”

“I see.”

“So I came to bring it to you before I take it to him.”

Takasugi seemed to ponder on Bansai’s words, and finally decided he needed distraction.

“I would rather listen to you telling me about it in person, if you don’t mind.”

“Not at all.”

“Come sit with me then.”

Bansai nodded and obeyed. He sat right in front of Takasugi.

Takasugi was planning to drink by himself so he only had one cup of _sake_ , but he would really appreciate a company. He offered Bansai the cup he had just drank from; it wouldn’t be the first time they shared a cup.

He still couldn’t see Bansai’s eyes, but he could _feel_ them fixed on his wing. He wondered what Bansai was thinking. Was he mentally criticizing him for not taking properly care of his wing? Was he wondering how did it feel to have a wing amputated? Was he thinking the color was pretty? Or was he disgusted by it? Had he ever seen an all-black wing in his life? Takasugi decided the report could wait.

“What do you think of it?”

Bansai seemed to be woken from his thoughts.

“Excuse me?”

“My wing. I can notice you’re staring at it as if it was the most incredible—or perhaps the most grotesque—thing you’ve ever put your eyes on.”

“Oh. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to stare. And it’s definitely the first option, I daresay.”

Bansai drank the sake in the small cup all at once and gave it back to Takasugi, who poured another cup, this time for himself.

“But you were staring. Am I right to believe that you have thoughts about it?”

“I do, I daresay.”

“Feel free to share them.”

It wasn’t a request.

“I was thinking it is really beautiful, I daresay. I’ve never met anyone with black wings before… there was an old lady in the village I grew up in, but at the time I saw it they were already turning grey due to her age. The color is more vibrant than I expected.”

Takasugi nodded and drank from his cup.

“But that’s not all, is it?”

“It’s not. I was also thinking that it looks…” he hesitated. “Neglected, I daresay.”

Takasugi finished his _sake_ , and in silence he poured another cup for Bansai, handing it to him.

It took him a few seconds to finally reply.

“You’re right. I haven’t groomed them in a while. I don’t have anyone to do that for me and I’m not one who’s comfortable with just anyone touching my wing.”

Bansai nodded.

The thing about wings was that some people considered the act of having them touched—or even seen—by someone else very intimate. However, grooming one’s own wings was a difficult task. Most people had others to groom their wings for them. Mothers usually groomed their children’s, lovers groomed each other’s, and there were those who sought courtesans not for sex, but to have their wings groomed. Takasugi really didn’t look like the kind that would do the last thing, and he didn’t have a _lover_ as far as Bansai knew, so thinking now it was just obvious that his wing looked so neglected if he didn’t take care of it himself.

Bansai suddenly wanted to touch them. He wanted to groom them for Takasugi. But asking such thing would be, at the very least, impolite, so he just drank his _sake_ in silence.

“Would you like to groom them for me?”

Bansai almost choked on his drink.

He was sure he was blushing.

“Can I?” he asked.

“I suppose we’re close enough for that,” Takasugi replied with a smirk.

It was true that they had had some intimate encounters before, but they had been very few and very sparse, Bansai found it difficult to tell those times weren’t Takasugi only blowing some steam after a stressful day. However, Bansai knew Takasugi wasn’t one that would let someone he just used as an escape valve touch his wings like that.

“I suppose we are,” Bansai replied. “Of course I can groom your wing, if you’re sure you want me to.”

Takasugi lowered his wing in response, keeping it at the same height as his body.

Bansai stood up just so he could change places and sit behind Takasugi, closer to his wing. While walking he took off his shades and put them on his pocket.

He hesitated to touch it. In the beginning of the day he never thought he would be seeing Takasugi’s lonely wing so soon, much less touching it. But there he was, getting ready to groom it. He extended his hand to touch a feather, one he could see that was loose, and pulled it. The feather left the wing easily, and Bansai observed it on his hand. It felt like a sin to let it fall on the ground, such a beautiful feather as it was, but he didn’t have other option.

He passed his fingers through where he could reach of Takasugi’s wing from where he was sitting, combing it, and pulled the loose feathers, letting them fall on the floor together with the ones that were already there when he arrived. He repeated this process as many times as it was needed, pulling off all of the loose feathers. Soon the floor around him was full with black feathers. He secretly wished he could take all of them back to his room to keep them safe, just because they seemed too beautiful to be thrown away. But that would be considered creepy, or could be misinterpreted as a greedy act. Pure black feathers held a high price in the black market.

Once all of the old feathers were removed, Bansai started to take care of the new ones. He touched them carefully, trying to make the crooked ones point to the right direction. He spent a long time carefully combing the feathers. During the process a few more fell off, and he could hear Takasugi letting out low, almost inaudible noises. Bansai knew wings were a sensitive body part, and it seemed like Takasugi was enjoying the feeling of having his wing groomed after such a long time. He smiled to himself and continued his task.

It took over an hour for all of Takasugi’s feathers to finally be in place. But once he was done, Bansai felt like it was too fast, he didn’t want to stop touching Takasugi wing. He didn’t want to stop touching Takasugi.

He walked away to observe his handwork and couldn’t stop thinking how _majestic_ Takasugi looked with his long black wing spread open, all the shiny black feathers in place. He couldn’t help but imagine how Takasugi would look if he still had both his wings, but he soon pushed that thought aside. Takasugi was perfect, no matter if he had only one wing.

“It’s done, I daresay,” Bansai said.

Takasugi opened his eyes. He almost dozed off during the process, that was how relaxed he felt with Bansai’s hands on him. He then turned his body and noticed all the feathers on the floor. He really had a lot of dead feathers on his wing, no wonder it felt so heavy. He moved it a few times, closing it and opening it, spreading it open and almost touching the ceiling again, feeling it light for the first time in a long while.

“Thank you.” He said, sincerely.

Bansai smiled in return, and went back to sit in front of Takasugi.

“I can do this for you whenever you want me to.”

He should have said _need_. _Want_ implied that he would be there literally every time Takasugi asked… but that was the truth anyway. He was Takasugi’s subordinate after all. He was there to receive orders. Even if he only fulfilled the ones he wanted to.

“How about you?” Takasugi asked. “Who grooms your wings, Bansai?”

“I do it myself. I can’t reach the base so I’m sure they look awful, but I try my best to keep my wings in good state.”

“Let me take care of them.”

It sounded almost like an order, but Bansai knew Takasugi wouldn’t force him. Even though there was nothing he wanted more than Takasugi grooming his wings, so his reply was a nod, followed by him getting up to take his jacket off.

Bansai spread both his wings, letting very few feathers fall. His wings started white on the base, and darkened through its extension, turning black on the tips.

“They’re beautiful.” Takasugi said.

“They have a common pattern.”

“It doesn’t matter, they look unique on you,” Takasugi seemed to feel conscious of what he had just said the minute the words left his mouth, so he soon added: “Turn around and sit.”

Bansai obeyed.

Unlike Bansai, Takasugi didn’t hesitate to touch him. And his job was much easier and faster; Bansai wasn’t lying when he said he kept his wings in good state. Minus the base (where the feathers were pristine white) there wasn’t much to be done. Very few loose feathers and not many to be put in place. He was done in about 20 minutes, to Bansai’s chagrin.

Bansai shook his wings in response when Takasugi announced he was done and smiled, thanking him. He was ready to retreat his wings and put his jacket back on when he heart Takasugi speaking, still sitting behind him.

“Did it feel good?” he asked.

Bansai didn’t answer straight away, he seemed to be pondering on the words he would use. Takasugi waited patiently.

“It did,” he finally replied. “It’s been a very long time since I last had someone grooming my wings for me.”

“Who was the last person?”

Bansai frowned.

“A past lover.”

“Have you ever only allowed lovers to groom your wings?”

“I allow people important to me to groom them. It’s just that after my mother, there was only someone else.”

“Am I important to you?”

Bansai lost his line of thought for a second. That was such a straight forward question, he wasn’t expecting such thing. But then again, many things he wasn’t expecting had already happened in a short amount of time.

“Of course you are.”

There wasn’t an instant answer. Instead, Bansai felt Takasugi’s forehead leaning against his back, right between his wings. Bansai could feel Takasugi’s breath on his skin as he started speaking.

“Only three people have ever been allowed to _touch_ my wings. My mother when I was a child; my teacher when I was growing up; and a certain friend during the war times. No one else. And nobody has touched my right wing since I lost my left one.”

He paused. But Bansai had the impression he wasn’t done talking, so he just waited until he finished.

“I had forgotten it could feel so good.” He then smiled bitterly. “A pity that I only have one.”

Bansai internally agreed, ashamed to admit that was mostly because of his own selfish reasons. He would have loved to spend more time grooming Takasugi’s second wing.

“Do you know, Bansai?” Takasugi restarted. He was talking a lot today, Bansai thought. “The past years I’ve spread my wing only enough for it to not start aching because of so much time retreated. I did it so I could forget I only had one left. Of course, it didn’t work.”

Bansai stayed silent.

“I’m not allowed to dream of flying anymore.”

“What do you mean?” Bansai asked instantly this time.

Takasugi moved. Not only he withdrew his forehead from Bansai’s back, he stood up. Calmly, Takasugi walked back to where he was sitting when Bansai arrived, and grabbed his _kiseru_ from where it was resting. He lighted it and took a drag before exhaling slowly.

Bansai didn’t move from where he was, he just turned around so now he was facing Takasugi again.

“Have you never dreamt of flying?” Takasugi asked.

“I believe all men have dreamed of flying at least once in their lives, I daresay.”

“Seems like a prank played by God, doesn’t it? We are born with wings, wings we’re supposed to take pride in, and yet we’re not capable of flying. Like angels who are broken and were throw on Earth like trash.” He took another drag. “Perhaps in my case I guess I was already a mistake from the beginning. Born with black wings like an angel who descended to hell.”

“You are wrong.” Bansai spoke up.

“Am I?”

“I don’t know if there are such things as God and angels. I guess these are things we only find out in the moment of our deaths. However, black being the color of the wings of fallen angels… that is wrong. Black is the absence color, if anything it’s the most pure color there is. Those born with black wings are rare, and the target of jealousy. This myth about them being devils was created by people who envied those with such beautiful wings… to persecute them, steal their feathers. Perhaps those with black wings are, in fact, the ones who God loves the most, not the ones he has abandoned.”

Takasugi stared at him with a slightly shocked look before he broke into laughter. Bansai did nothing but wait until Takasugi stopped laughing.

“A romantic, aren’t you?” Takasugi asked, still chuckling. “Those who God loves the most? Perhaps I could believe in such pretty words if I still had both my wings on my back. But God weren’t there when I had one so painfully ripped out. What next? You’re gonna say he has a plan for me, and was that a way of testing me? Unfortunately I’ve never believed in God. If He wants me to play a part for Him, He will be very disappointed.”

“I don’t believe in God myself.” Bansai replied. “I’m not even sure if I believe in things like fate. I was just trying to say those born with black wings are… special.”

“I used to think having black wings would make it more likely for me to fly,” said Takasugi.

“Maybe that’s the case.”

“But how can I fly with only one wing? If I had any chances to do so they were ripped out of me together with my left wing.”

“Then you just have to hold onto someone else.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m gonna lend you my wings. I’ll help you to fly.”

Takasugi’s eye opened wide as he stared at Bansai, surprised with his words.

“And how you intend to do that?”

“If my life belongs to you so do my wings. If you can’t reach your goal alone, I’ll help you by fighting by your side. If you can’t fly by yourself, you just have to hold my hand.”

Takasugi watched him with a deadpan face, an expression difficult to be read, but Bansai knew his feelings were a mess because of his song.

Finally, Takasugi smirked.

“But this won’t do, Bansai. If I hold your hand and you die now, I will fall. I won’t be able to fly without your help.”

Bansai smiled.

“Then I just have to keep myself alive. Because my life isn’t only mine anymore.”

“Will you,” Takasugi hesitated. The smirk had disappeared from his face once again. “Will you live for me?”

“Isn’t that what I have been doing in the past years?”

Takasugi lowered his head, as if watching Bansai was stopping him from thinking straight. He stayed there, reflecting on the words they had just shared for a couple minutes, until he finally looked up and spoke up.

“Then,” he started. “Don’t let me fall, Bansai.” And that smirk was back on his face.

“I will not.” Bansai replied.

Takasugi nodded. Finally he retracted his wing back to his body and adjusted his _yukata_ back in place. Bansai, watching him, did the same, and soon his own wings were back inside his body. He put his jacket back, but didn’t bother closing it. He thought that was okay, considering Takasugi’s own _yukata_ was loosely tied.

“Well, if I’m not mistaken, you still have to give me a report.” Takasugi said.

Bansai took the cup of sake he offered and drank from it before he started talking.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments are appreciated. ~
> 
> Some general information about the universe if you're interested, but you don't need to read this in order to understand the story:  
> \- Everyone is born with wings. The wings can be all white (rare), all black (rare), all brown or beige (common), a mix of two or the three colors (common).  
> \- The wings will get grey-ish as the person grow older, just like hair.  
> \- Having one wing or no wings at all is not well-seen, but if got better after the amanto invasion because many non-human people don't have wings. (so, no, I don't think yato have wings, sorry :( )  
> \- People with pure black wings used to be ostracized and persecuted while people pure white wings were admirad and idolized. But that was yeeeeeeeears before Takasugi was even born, it's just a historical fact.  
> \- Now both pure black and pure white feathers are sold in the black market for people who collect them and rich people who want to implant feathers to change their wings' color, so you can say people with pure black or pure white wings are persecuted, but for different reasons than before, and it's illegal, obviously.


End file.
